Shattered
by Calliope3243
Summary: Set near the end of Poison Study. Valek begins to learn more about Yelena's dark past, but worries he may crack under the horror of it all. Valek's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Probably going to be a three part.**

**Basically what the summary says. Pretty dark so fair warning, but also some fluff.**

**Disclaimer: Valek and Yelena were born in the head of Maria V. Snyder, not me. Sadly.**

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As we moved through Brazzell's manor I could feel the tension rolling off Yelena in waves. The rational part of me attributed this feeling to my assassin's reflexes, honed over years of training to pick up on slight changes in my environment. But if I were being honest, this was something that ran deeper. In recent months I'd developed a sharp awareness of Yelena: the sound of her walk was immediately familiar to me, as was her scent, her voice, and the sound of her breath in a quiet room. I could immediately discern shifts in her mood – though what exactly she felt remained enigmatic – could tell when she was relaxed or nervous. Now she was most definitely feeling the latter.

Her tread, normally fluid and rhythmic, stuttered, like she was forcing herself to take each step. Her breath came in shallow pants, and her face, when I risked a glance at it, reminded me of the first time we'd met, when she'd just been pulled from the dungeon and thought she awaited execution. The metallic tang of blood pierced the air and I noticed that she'd bitten through the skin of her hand, a nervous act I'd only ever seen her do once before, in Brazzell's presence.

In sympathy, my body felt coiled in anticipation, as if enemies were about to jump from out behind every corner.

When we entered the laboratory, I suppressed a shudder of revulsion. Cold stone slabs were glittering with sharp, metal tools and a pile of manacles and ropes graced the corner. I'd been in enough torture chambers to know one when I saw one. And in spite of my rather horrifying reputation, I vehemently disliked them. I was an _assassin_, not a torturer.

Seeing nothing of interest in this room, Yelena led me down the hall to a slightly larger, more ornate door. There she stopped, trembling. Part of me wanted to reach up, rest a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, but I had the distinct impression that she would shatter like one of my stone statues if touched.

Instead, I turned my attention to the door, which swung open on well-oiled hinges at my touch.

The room was dim, bits of dust floating around in the air. I cautiously lit the lantern in my hand, shuttering it so that only a soft light emanated from it. What it illuminated rooted me to the spot.

Red-brown stains spattered the stone at my feet, looking as if nobody had bothered to clean them up. The blood, which was too far from the bed to be from Reyad's death at Yelena's hand, reminded me of an impromptu torture scene.

I stepped forward, nearly nocking my head on a pair of manacles that hung from the ceiling. I reached up. They were crusted with dried blood that flaked off under my fingers. I rubbed them together, wondering which unfortunate soul had been shackled here and getting a sinking feeling that I already knew.

Instead, I tuned to the bed which had been fastidiously scrubbed and stripped of its sheets. Likely the household had been unable to stand the evidence of Reyad's murder left unattended.

The light of the lantern glinted off the metal lock of a large chest, and I moved to kneel before it. The lock was old and unused, requiring a minute of attention with the lock picks before it sprang open. I quickly threw it aside, pushing up on the lid of the chest, which gave a screech of protest.

Inside, meticulously ordered, were all the instruments of a master torturer. Little knives while another held whips, from barbed to braided, the simplest of which was still coated in blood. A flail was tucked in amongst leather-bound rods, leather gags resting across them. Settled on the top, almost lovingly, was a leather bound journal. I picked it up, adjusting the lantern to give me enough light to read.

I flipped to a random page:

_Day 23,_

_Today, Yelena ruined my best shirt while practicing acrobatics in the mud with her friends. In repentance, she will perform those same acrobatics, naked, with her hands chained behind her, and be whipped for every time she makes a mistake. When she is sufficiently coated in blood, I will bend her over-_

I threw the book from me, repulsed. The knowledge I'd been repressing hit me with a vengeance. All the blood in this room had come from Yelena. Each of the tools in the chest had been meant for her, if they hadn't been used on her already. That journal…

I swallowed, fighting back nausea. The mere thought brought with it equal parts fury and horror. I quickly snuffed the lantern, not wishing to see any more of the damnable room, and staggered for the door.

Yelena stood in the hallway where I'd left her, looking tired and haunted. I stared, unable to shake the image of that whip cracking across her lovely skin, shackles chafing her wrists raw and bloody…

She must have seen something of my thoughts in my face, for her eyes widened slightly and she swallowed, hard.

I tore my eyes from her, shutting the door on that horrible room and stalking over to the next. I wanted to hurt something. I wanted to feel the hardness of bone beneath my fist. Wanted to feel my knife slicing someone's – no, Reyad's flesh. For once in my life, I wanted to hurt instead of kill. Wanted to inflict as much pain as humanly possible before allowing him to die. And it terrified me.

I pressed a hand to my forehead, forcing such dark thoughts into a corner of my head where they wouldn't interfere with the task at hand. There would be time to sort them out after all this mess was done.

Yelena and I continued searching, and I dared not look at her. I knew I would see the horrors of Reyad's room written there, and I'll admit, I was too cowardly to see them.

At the last door, my anger threatened to break loose again. Filthy, vacant-eyed teenagers cringed from us and the light we brought into the room. They were shackled to the floor.

Gathering my courage, I walked toward them, asking questions in the hopes of eliciting a response. They only stared back at me, uncomprehending. I reached out to touch the shoulder of a young man about Yelena's age, but recoiled. The air around him was sticky with magic.

Yelena's cry brought my head up. She knelt before a red-haired woman, stroking her face and grasping her shoulders. I could discern desperate whispers of "Cara" and "Please wake up!" from beneath the tears that streamed down her face. Her tears shocked me. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd thought she _might_ cry, let alone the act itself.

Eventually she looked up at me, eyes wide in a pale face. "What now?"

I had no answers. I drew in a breath – to say what, I don't know – when someone answered first.

"You are arrested and thrown in the dungeon."

Yelena and I spun. Mogkan.

Suddenly, I had an outlet for my anger. Someone to blame for what had happened here. I charged Mogkan, unthinking.

As I burst into the hallway, I stopped just soon enough to avoid being skewered on a guard's sword. Mogkan stood behind eight of them, grinning like a cat that's just caught a particularly juicy mouse. My mind raced, trying to come up with a way to escape, to fight my way through. I raised my hands, realizing as Yelena raced up beside me that I had likely just consigned her to die in the place of her nightmares.

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**End part 1!**

**I'll try to update as soon as possible, but as always reviews give me the warm, fuzzy feeling that generally spawns writing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay second chapter!**

**This one was particularly hard to write since I did include Yelena's description of what happened to her. Nothing past the rating but still rather hard to stomach.**

**Disclaimer: Same as last time. Characters not mine, etc.**

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There was a clank of the closing cell door, then silence. For a moment, I stared at the lock, as if I could will it open, before eventually settling against the stone wall that separated my cell from Yelena's. It wasn't very thick. On the other side I could hear faint shuddering gasps, as if she were trying to keep from screaming. Or having a panic attack.

Guilt washed through me. It was my fault that she was here, in such an awful place, about to die. Why had I let her come with me in the first place? Yes, she was smart, and observant, and knew her way around the manor. But that didn't make her a spy. When she offered, I should have told her no, should have said that it was too dangerous for someone without the proper spy training. I shouldn't have been relieved to have her at my back.

I was so focused on my mistake, I didn't even notice when the gasping stopped.

"Valek?"

Her voice was soft, tentative. "What?" I braced myself, waiting for the tirade of righteous anger.

"Why didn't you fight the guards? I would have helped you."

The idea was so ridiculous, I had to choke back a laugh. Yes, I was good. But the fact that she thought me _that_ good was simply ludicrous. "Eight men had drawn swords pointed at my chest. Any movement and I would have been skewered. I'm flattered that you think I could win against those odds. Four armed men, maybe, but eight is definitely too many."

"Then we pick the locks and escape?"

Her voice held the same hopefulness it had when we studied poisons or discussed tactics. As if she'd suddenly come to the right answer and wanted to be proven right. I hated to disappoint. "That would be ideal, provided we had something to pick them with."

I could practically hear her deflate. There was a scrabbling noise from her cell, and I knew she was searching amongst the straw for a tool to get us out. That would be just too good to hope for, finding picks in our own cells. Eventually, I heard a sigh, and there was silence.

I drew my knees up, resting my hands on them and staring off into space. There wasn't much of a hope of escaping, not with things as they were, anyway. I'd spent the whole walk down here running through escape scenarios, all of them requiring more resources than we currently possessed.

To distract myself from that line of thought, I concentrated on the mystery of those people chained to the floor. Obviously, they were the former members of Brazell's famous orphanage, now grown up. But what did he want them for? Those people had had no recognition of their surroundings, no spark of awareness, so they weren't _doing_ anything…

I remembered the girl Yelena had rushed to, Cara. Obviously they'd been friends. I suddenly realized that Yelena had likely been slated for the same fate. I choked back the anger at that thought. "Was that your fate? If you hadn't killed Reyad, were you slated to be chained to the floor, mindless?"

She was quiet a moment. Then, whispered: "I think Brazell and Reyad were determined to reduce me to that mental state. But I endured." Her voice strengthened in that moment. "I think… I think Mogkan is using them as a power supply. To become more powerful and invade the Commander's mind. They've been so abused that they just… give up… let Mogkan have their powers, and… and leave themselves, mentally."

I didn't add that her theory implied that those people were all magicians. That she, herself, must possess some magical talent for them to have been interested in her. At this point, it didn't matter. I'd suspected for a long time that Yelena had magical abilities. Her survival instinct and ability to fend off magical attack hinted as much. I'd ignored the suspicion, because she didn't pose a threat to the Commander, and because I couldn't bear the thought of having to kill her. I could admit that much to myself, now.

But her theory reminded me of the torture chambers I'd seen. How much pain had it taken to make a person crack like that? To let go of their very selves? And how much strength to endure that pain?

My hands curled into fists atop my knees. I wanted to scream. To rip this cell apart and kill those evil monsters. Or clutch Yelena to me and never let her go. I wasn't sure which came first. Instead I said, "Tell me what happened to you."

She was quiet for so long, I thought she would refuse to tell me, or that the memories were too painful to reveal. But then she took a shuddering breath and started speaking:

"At first… at first, they weren't really that bad. They were… _kind_, even. So when Brazell asked me if I wanted to help with a few experiments… well, I was happy to help. And it… wasn't so bad at first. They threw pillows at me and told me to dodge them, that sort of thing. But then the pillows became knives and the tasks became more and more… deadly. They made me hang from window sills for hours on end or held me under water until I nearly drowned. Once… once they tied me to a post and pushed a fiery torch right up by my face, telling me over and over to put it out. I blew on it until my lips were cracked and my mouth dry, but it didn't work. They brought it so close my eyebrows singed off and my skin blistered, but they wouldn't _stop_. It wasn't until they threatened to set my hair on fire that I… that I put it out. They had me so terrified, I would have done _anything_ to make it stop.

"Mostly. Sometimes, when they were out or busy or something, I would sneak off to practice acrobatics. I knew I could win the competition at the fire festival that year and… that kept me going, I guess. But a week before the festival, Reyad caught me. And he had this, this look. Like he was mad at me but also so glad he would get to punish me. So he took me up to the lab, stripped me naked, covered me in chains, and forced me to do acrobatics all night, whipping me the whole time. That was a variation on his favorite 'experiment': whipping me and yelling at me to move until I passed out. After that… I guess I didn't give up, really, but I meekly submitted to whatever they asked. I was terrified and just so tired of fighting.

"And then the next year, Reyad was busy courting General Tesso's daughter and I just _had to_ compete in the festival. I stole supplies for the costume and practiced my routine whenever I was alone. And then the competition came and I was so… proud, and happy to be there. And because I was defying Reyad I felt free, for once. Until he found me. I won the competition, but Reyad dragged me back to the castle the moment it was over.

"Brazell decided I was a lost cause. That I wasn't 'fit to join his group'. And he left me to Reyad.

"When we… when we got back to his room, Reyad just started hitting and kicking me. I really thought I was going to die then. I did pass out. But when I woke up I was naked and lying on Reyad's bed. He… he handed me his journal, which listed all his grievances against me and how I would be punished. I thought it might be easier, knowing what was coming but…

"He whipped me on hands and knees, while I called him 'sir' and begged for more. He-" Her voice broke here, and I could hear wrenching sobs coming from the other side of the wall. "He _raped_ me and there was _nothing_ I could do but just lie there and beg for it to be over! And it hurt more than anything else because I felt like I'd lost the last part of myself. That I was a _thing_ rather than a person.

"And when it was over he started talking about how they would have to start training a new girl and I _couldn't_ let them do that to Cara or May, so I grabbed the knife I'd hidden under his bed and stabbed him until he wouldn't be able to hurt them anymore. That's when the guards found me. I suppose you know the rest."

I sat, frozen. I'd pictured awful things, maybe even some of what she'd described, but _this_, hearing it from her, was so much worse. The fury in my chest, which had been building throughout her story, turned icy and hard. I wanted to _crush_ them for doing that to her. To shred them to pieces until there was nothing recognizable left. Reyad was lucky he was dead, because in that moment I would have ripped him apart for ever thinking he could lay even a finger on her. I would have lived up to the most horrible parts of my reputation and then some. My fists clenched so tightly that my nails drew blood and a muscle jumped in my arm. My jaw clenched but I managed to hiss, "Brazell and Mogkan will be destroyed."

And they would be. If I had to spend the rest of my life hunting those two down I would do it gladly. Imminent death be damned.

Brazell and Mogkan entered the dungeon then and I fixed my eyes on the floor. Knowing that if I looked at them, they would see their impending annihilation. And I didn't want them to see it coming. The moment I had the chance, they would look death in the face. They didn't deserve a preview.

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**I think I'm gonna end it here since I like the ominous nature of Valek's mood.**

**Next chapter will focus on Valek's emotions while Yelena deals with the White Fright. It'll be kinda gloomy but also a little fluffy :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Annnnnnd Part 3!**

**Disclaimer: characters still aren't mine, no matter how much I love them**

**Heads Up: There's an IMPORTANT author's note at the bottom of the page so please make sure you read it and write a review if you have anything to say about it!**

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I can't be sure whether I slept. I knew I should take my own advice, to sleep while I could to gather my strength. But I knew that if I slept, I would dream. I would be forced to live my imagination's version of Yelena's tale, would probably dream of killing those who had done those things to her.

And I was wracked with guilt. In a few hours, Yelena's antidote would wear off. That she wouldn't actually die was little comfort to me, since she would be in so much pain she would probably prefer death. And I couldn't stand the thought that I would be the cause. I had poisoned her and would only have myself to blame for her pain.

After what she'd told me, that thought only made me feel worse. Yelena had endured more pain in the past couple years than most people did in a lifetime. She didn't deserve to endure any more. But she would.

Time passed. I faded in and out of awareness, my body's need for rest warring with my fear of what sleep would bring. After a few hours, I heard a soft cry, followed by frantic scrabbling, a noise of disgust, and the sound of a small mass flying into a wall.

Ok, I couldn't see it, but that just _sounded_ funny. "Nice nap?" I called.

There was a grunt from the other side of the wall. "I've had better. My sleeping companion snored."

I suppressed a chuckle, wondering if she meant me or the rats.

"How long was I out?"

I sighed, looking up at the ceiling as if I would somehow be able to find the sky in between the stones. "It's hard to tell without the sun. I'm guessing it's close to sunset."

There was silence after that. I thought I could hear pacing, but her tread was too soft to be sure.

"Valek, I have a confess…" Suddenly there was a strangled gasp and the sound of knees hitting the ground.

I sat up, worried. "What's the matter?"

"Stomach cramp from hell," she gasped. She was panting heavily and I knew she was trying to hold back another attack. "Is this how it starts?"

I buried my face in my hands. "Yes. They begin slowly but soon the convulsions will be continuous."

There was another gasping cry, and I gritted my teeth. And so her torture, and mine, began. I could hear the scratching of her crawling around in the straw, then silence.

I waited, agonized, for the next wave to hit her.

"Valek talk to me. Tell me something to distract me." I could hear the desperation in her voice, the carefully controlled terror.

"Like what?" I muttered, miserable.

"I don't care. Anything."

I blew out a long breath. No going back now, I guess. "Here's something you can take comfort from – there's no poison called Butterfly's Dust."

"What?" The end of her word hooked up in pain, and I waited anxiously for the gasping grunts of pain to subside. When they did, I continued. "You're going to want to die, wish you were dead, but in the end you'll be quite alive." I carefully controlled my voice, not wanting her to hear the fear there. She had enough to deal with.

"Why tell me now?"

I stared at my hands, knowing she would be furious. "The mind controls the body. If you believed you were going to die, you might have died from that conviction alone." And that would have killed me.

"Why wait to tell me now?" Yes, she was definitely mad.

"A tactical decision," I muttered bitterly.

I heard a growl of anger, then she was quiet. I could almost see her thinking about it, lips parting and a small wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows. "What about the cramps?" She gasped, and it sounded like she was rolling about on the floor now.

I breathed through my nose, trying to calm myself. "Withdrawal symptoms."

"From what?" More a shriek of pain than words.

I banged my head back against the wall. "Your so-called antidote. It's an interesting concoction," I continued, hoping to distract both of us with the technical. "I use it to make someone sick. As the potion wears off, it causes stomach cramps worthy of a day in bed. It's perfect for putting someone temporarily out of commission without killing him. If you continue to drink it, the symptoms are forestalled until you stop."

"What's the name?" she asked, true curiosity in her voice.

I almost laughed bitterly. Even enduring some of the worst pain in her life and locked in a prison cell, Yelena was eternally curious. "White Fright."

I heard a sigh of relief, like she finally believed she wasn't going to die. "What about Butterfly's Dust?"

I shrugged, even though she couldn't see me. "Doesn't exist. I made it up. It sounded good. I needed some way to keep the Food Tasters from running away without using guards or locked doors."

There was a grunt of acknowledgement before she was swamped by another wave of pain, this one longer than the last. When it subsided, she asked, "Does the Commander know it's a ruse?"

Ah. Smart. If the Commander knew then her captors would likely know. "No. He believes you've been poisoned."

I lost her after that. The cramps became continuous, and all I heard from the other side were cries of pain and the sound of retching. I gritted my teeth, infuriated at being so helpless. I wanted to hold her and assure her that everything would be alright. To hold back her hair and stroke her forehead like I had the night she'd found out about Rand's betrayal. Anything.

Instead I listened, occasionally murmuring meaningless assurances that I know she didn't hear. I'd crawled to the front corner of my cell, trying to get as close to her as possible.

Eventually, Brazell and Mogkan came down to watch. The mage stayed back, leaning against the cell opposite, while Brazell crouched in front of Yelena's cell. "That's what you get for murdering my son, you bitch," he hissed. "Even this death is too good for you. I was going to _burn_ you alive, but Mogkan reminded me that it wouldn't look good for a future Commander. This death is longer anyway."

I clenched my fists, willing myself not to do or say anything. Brazell must have noticed, however, because his eyes flashed to mine, gleaming. "Don't thing I've forgotten about you, dog. You'll be with your precious food taster soon, don't worry." Grinning, he turned back to watch Yelena suffer.

About half an hour passed before Mogkan cleared his throat. "Sir, the Commander requires our attention. As does the household. And I would like to go over some of the plans with you before tomorrow."

Brazell sighed, disappointment evident on his face. "Very well. I was hoping to watch when she dies, but I guess I'll just have to hear it from you tomorrow." He turned his eyes on me, grinning manically. I just glared.

They left, both grinning and I wanted to smack those grins right from their faces.

"Valek."

Her voice was hoarse from screaming and I could still hear the tears behind it. "Yes?"

"Please… make it stop." Sobs wracked her body.

"I can't, love, I can't." I ran a hand through my hair, needing to do something.

"Please. It hurts so much."

I choked back tears of my own, instead reaching a hand through the bars. "Give me your hand, sweetheart. Just give me your hand."

Her hand, pale and trembling, appeared through the bars, and I grasped it in my own, rubbing my thumb across the knuckles. "Now focus on my voice."

There was a whimpered response.

"Good. I'm right here, alright? I'm right here and it's going to be ok. It's all going to go away." I could only manage a whisper past the thickness in my throat. But she heard me.

"Am I dying?"

"No. No, love, you're not. Remember? It's not real."

There was a sharp cry of pain, and I gripped her hand tighter, lending her my strength. "I don't think I can take it much longer, Valek."

I inhaled sharply, scared she was giving up. "No, no you can. Listen to me, Yelena. Alright? You're strong enough for this. You've endured so much and I know it's not fair but you _do_ have the strength for this, I promise. It's almost over." I hoped.

Her hand tightened in mine. "But it _hurts_."

"I know. I know. But just focus on your breathing and the sound of my voice, ok?" There was a whimper and I squeezed her hand. "I'm right here."

It was quiet for a moment, but for the sound of her shuddering breaths. I waited.

"Better?"

"Mm-hmm." Her breathing became more controlled and I let out a breath of my own. "Keep talking, please? I need… I need something to distract me."

"What do you want me to say?"

Her voice was so soft, I barely heard it. "Anything."

I nodded, swallowing. "I… I love you, Yelena."

Silence.

"Yelena?"

I heard the soft, slow breathing of sleep and relaxed. She'd made it.

I settled on the ground myself, still keeping hold of her hand. I was too tense to sleep, adrenaline still pumping through my veins. I felt… broken. Like I'd been stretched in so many different ways, I didn't know what to do with myself. Had I really just told Yelena that I loved her?

I realized with a start that it was true. I'd been denying it for so long – it wasn't a good idea for a spymaster to fall in love with a food taster – that I was surprised by the power of my conviction. I'd known for quite a while, of course, that I had feelings for her. At first I'd chalked it up to lust, going for too long without someone to warm my bed, that sort of thing. And lust was certainly part of it. But if that had been all… If all I felt was lust, then the night of the Brandy Meeting I wouldn't have stopped her. I would have swept her up to my room without a second thought. But instead I did stop her, wracked with guilt at the thought of her waking up the next morning and regretting her actions. Despite how much I wanted her. And then I'd carved that butterfly pendant and I couldn't deny that there was something… tender in my feelings for her. But love? I was both terrified and relieved to have admitted it to myself. And her. I wondered how much she would remember in the morning.

And if she didn't remember?

Would I go back to treating her like an employee and sometimes friend? Could I?

Of course, that all hinged on whether we could actually get out of here. But somehow that seemed much easier than it had before. A 'dead' body could prove useful.

Instead, I settled down, staring at our entwined hands and smiling softly. Morning was still a few hours off, and I was content to lie here without worrying about the real world for now.

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**Ok so I couldn't resist adding a little Valek desperation/comfort in there. I'm of the opinion that while he tries to keep his cool in front of people, he's ****_really_**** torn up about everything Yelena's going through. He probably doesn't realize what he's saying for the most part, he's just desperate to help Yelena in any way he can. But that's not to say he doesn't mean them!**

**Now, as for the important author's note. I had initially intended to end it here, but I've had a couple people express interest in seeing a bit more. I do have another scene I wrote for this series, taking place during Yelena and Valek's hiding in the straw adventure. As you can probably guess it's full of smutty goodness, which means I would have to change the rating of the story. I wrote it mostly for my own enjoyment but if you guys would like to see it then I'm more than willing to post. SO. I'm going to leave the story as 'incomplete' for a week or two, and depending on your responses, I'll either move it to 'complete' or add the last bit of the story.**

**Please review and leave your opinions!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright my lovelies! This is the 4th and final part of this fic. Basically Valek and Yelena having fun times in the straw. aka SMUT. There's a bit of a gap between the last chapter and this one, since I didn't really feel like writing the whole cell escape thing. It should be pretty clear where this fits in with the book though.**

**Again, all characters belong to the author.**

**Enjoy!**

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As I led Yelena back through the dungeon, I felt a twinge of guilt. This was a place of her nightmares, the place where she had been taken just moments after the worst moments of her life. The place where she had revealed those moments to me. My hands clenched at the thought. The thought of Reyad hurting her, _touching_ her….

I drew in a sharp breath to regain my focus – now was _not_ the time to be thinking such thoughts– and started throwing open cell doors.

"Are you insane?" Yelena whispered, needlessly, as the creaking of the cell doors would have alerted anyone close enough to hear her talk. "Freedom's that way." She pointed off behind us.

I knew how she felt; basic human instinct was telling be to run like hell, get out as fast as possible. Which is what they'd expect. "Trust me," I murmured, unlocking the last cell door and tucking the keys into my belt – never know when those might come in handy. "This is the perfect hiding spot. The mess we left will soon be discovered, the open doors proof we've fled." I paused to usher her in front of me, a bit harder than I'd intended in my haste. "Search parties will be sent out. When all the soldiers have left the manor, we'll make our move. Until then, we lay low."

A glance in her direction saw her pondering this, a slight furrow between her eyebrows. I suppressed a smug smile and moved to gather the straw in the room into a rather large pile, bending and trampling some of the pieces to form a slightly less prickly hollow in the center. I reached over pinch out the flame of our lantern before pulling Yelena down beside me and quickly covering us with the remaining straw.

It was only then that I noticed her shivering, caught up as I had been in devising our "escape". I threw an arm over her and pulled her close, my head rationalizing that she would need the shared body heat, while my body thrilled at the feeling of her soft, if wet, form pressed up against me. At first, her muscles were tense and I worried that I'd over-stepped somehow, but soon enough she relaxed and leaned up against me with an almost inaudible sigh. Part of my mind noted how unexpectedly muscular her thin frame felt. Her training with the Power Twins and Maren had bulked up her shoulders and back, while the running had filled out her long legs. I wasn't complaining. I found myself even more attracted to her, if that were possible, feeling the toned athleticism of her body.

The sound of raised voices broke me from that line of thinking and I smirked slightly, thinking of the chaos we'd just created. Brazzell and Mogkan were called down, both believing we'd fled under the assumption that the Commander was as good as lost. That stung. I grumbled. "They actually think I would abandon the Commander. They have no concept of loyalty."

Yelena's shoulders shook slightly with a repressed snort.

After a time, the prison emptied and I allowed myself to relax, tucking my forehead against the back of Yelena's head and breathing in her scent. It would be awhile before we could leave.

At some point, Yelena impatiently pushed some of the straw off of us, breathing in the slightly fresher air that didn't smell quite so much of rat droppings and moldy grain. I grinned, wondering how long it would be before her impatience overcame her fear and caution.

It wasn't long.

"Can we go now?" Her sigh lifted my arm slightly and pressed her a bit tighter against me.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to focus on her question and not the feelings that stirred within my lower abdomen. "Not yet. I believe it's still daylight. We'll wait until dark."

She huffed at that, but didn't argue. Instead she turned her head slightly towards me. "Why don't you tell me a story to pass the time?"

I snorted. "A story?" What was she, five?

"Yeah. Like how you met the Commander, for instance."

All humor gone, I paused, thinking. Though I'm sure there were those still alive who could piece together parts of that story if given the chance, it was not something I openly discussed. Too many of the associated memories were painful, and I was not exactly proud of the person I'd been then. A part of me recoiled at the thought of opening myself up to her like that, while another worried that she would cringe away from me at the things I'd done. And yet… And yet she had done nearly the same for me the night before. At long last she had revealed to me the immeasurable pain of her past, had trusted me with that part of her. It was only right that I do the same.

I took a deep breath. "My family lived in Icefaren Province before it was named MD-1…" As I told her my story the words seemed to come easier and easier. It had been near ten years since I'd told the Commander the same story and at first I struggled with what to say. Eventually, though, I just let the words come, removing the ironclad filter that separated my thoughts from my mouth and letting the words come without censorship. "Throughout these years, I've watched him achieve his goals with single-minded determination and without excess of violence or pain. He hasn't been corrupted by power or greed. He's consistent to his people. And there's been no one in this world I care for more. Until now."

I stopped. I could feel her tense beneath me as those words, words I had not entirely intended to say, registered with her. But it was like I had opened the floodgates, and suddenly I could not stop, letting the emotions awakened last night pour out of me in a torrential tide. "Yelena you've driven me crazy. You've caused me considerable trouble and I've contemplated ending your life twice since I've known you. But you've slipped under my skin, invaded my blood, and seized my heart."

"That sounds more like a poison than a person," she whispered in reply. I repressed the sudden urge to laugh because that comment was so very her, so typically Yelena, that it made my heart sing.

"Exactly," I replied, grasping her shoulder and gently rolling her over to face me. "You have poisoned me." Her lips were slightly parted in surprise and before I knew what I was doing, before I could stop to think, stop to analyze as I so often did, I kissed her.

Her lips were dry from the agony she'd endured the previous night, but they tasted so sweet, I couldn't be bothered to care. Instead, flame engulfed my body as she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back with equal desperate passion.

That, the kiss, was as far as I intended it to go, I swear. The rational part of my mind reminded me that we were still in danger. Still in a place where Yelena had been abused, tortured, and _raped,_ no less.

But she pressed her body against mine, sighing into the kiss and gripping me closer like she was afraid to ever let me go. And for all my years of disciplining my body to become the perfect assassin, I was helpless before this woman.

Of their own accord, my fingers stroked lightly up and down her sides, causing her to shiver. Her mouth pulled away from mine to gasp for air and I bent my head to her neck, wanting to taste her, all of her. Dimly, I registered her hands fumbling at the buttons of my shirt, and I smiled against her neck, shrugging my shoulders so the garment slid off them and into the straw. I moved to return the favor, efficiently slipping each button through its hole and desperately trying not to think too much about what lay beneath. Yelena lay back watching me, panting slightly, wide eyes filled with what I hoped was lust.

When I'd finished with her shirt, I sat back, lifting my white undershirt over my head and discarding it as well. I watched Yelena's eyes travel the length of my chest and wondered what she saw there. The relentlessly toned muscle of a killer? Or the numerous white scars that ran over top, the price of a life time of killing?

Whatever it was, her eyes came back to meet mine, and she reached up, calling me back to her. I settled myself half on top, half beside her, sharply aware of the shape her breasts made against the fabric of her undershirt. She buried her hands in my hair and pulled my face back down to hers, my hand coming to rest at her waist. We kissed with fierce passion and I cautiously let my tongue explore the edge of her lips. They parted beneath mine and I pressed further into her mouth, our tongues touching. At this point, her hands had moved, roving over my back and arms with restless energy. My hands, too, had begun stroking up and down her abdomen. When one brushed the underside of a breast, she gasped, arching her back and biting down on my lower lip. I growled, returning the favor and moving to cup her breast; it fit nicely in my hand and I squeezed slightly. She gasped again, mumbling something incoherently against my mouth.

I pulled back slightly. "What?"

She grinned, gripping my shoulders more firmly and shoving until she sat above me, straddling my hips. Shocked, I let her wrestle me over, caught in that wicked grin.

"Off," she whispered and reached down to pull her undershirt over her head.

I could only stare, transfixed. I have seen naked women before, in spite of what palace rumor would have one believe, nicknaming me Valek the Virgin. In my younger assassin years, I'd once spent a bit of coin I'd earned in the town's pleasure house, out of curiosity more than anything else. While enjoyable, I'd felt hollow and uncomfortable with myself afterward, never repeating the experience. The number of lovers I'd taken could be counted twice on one hand, neither lasting more than a week and none occurring within the past 7 years.

With Yelena, it was different. How many times had I spent restless nights imagining her in just this state, attempting to divine what she looked like beneath the amorphous uniform? In reality, she was smooth and round, tiny pink nipples erect from the cold or desire, I couldn't tell. A flush swept her and she looked down at my hands, reaching for them and placing them firmly against her chest. That broke my trance. I stared into her eyes, trying to convey how beautiful she was to me, because I had no words.

She smiled and bent to kiss me, while my hands worked at her chest, squeezing gently and rolling the nipples between my fingers. Something between a sigh and a moan sounded against my mouth. I smiled mischievously, breaking the kiss and ducking down to catch one nipple between my lips. She gasped, arching into me and gripping my shoulders hard. I grinned, pressing my tongue against the hard bud and nipping lightly with my teeth. The sigh-moan came again and she squirmed, her hips pressing firmly into mine.

I groaned, the erection I'd been trying to stalwartly ignore rising to press up against her. She froze, and I beneath her, unsure how she would react to the very obvious proof of my desire. Then, slowly, she rocked her hips against me, pressing harder than she had before. I gritted my teeth, hips arching unconsciously back. I heard her breathy giggle, and she pressed down again, this time rolling her hips around in maddening circles atop me. Faster than thought, I had her hips gripped solidly in my hands and flipped her over so that she lay beneath me again.

She looked up at me in mild shock, before a grin split her face. "Can't stand to not be in control, _Spymaster_?" she asked wickedly. I groaned and bent down to nibble below her ear. "Shut up."

She laughed and turned her head to capture my mouth again. Her nails stroked up and down my chest, eventually pausing at my belt buckle. "Remember the last time we were in this position?"

I chuckled at that. How could I not? The memory of that 'last time' had kept me up nights on end. "As I remember, you were quite drunk and had significantly more clothes."

She grinned, fingers beginning to work at the buckle. "Well, I'm certainly not drunk, though I still think I'm wearing too many clothes."

Her bluntness shocked me, though I was largely distracted by the movement of her hands, removing my pants and undergarments in one fell swoop. I flushed slightly, wondering what she made of me. But her hands only paused briefly before reaching to stroke along my length. I drew in a sharp breath, resisting the urge to thrust into her hand as she eventually wrapped her whole hand around me, moving up and down with gentle pressure.

Nervous eyes glanced up to meet mine. "Yes?"

I grunted, chest heaving. "Definitely, yes."

She smiled, squeezing a bit harder and moving with more confidence. I could barely put two coherent thoughts together at this point, but I knew she had to stop soon before I lost all control.

I reached down to stop her, moving my hands to her belt when she looked at me in confusion. "Your turn."

Her lips parted in a small "o", and a pale pink flush brushed her cheeks. I grinned and worked at the buckle, fumbling slightly with the buttons of her pants before slipping them and her undergarments off her hips, just as she had done me.

I glanced up to see her panting slightly, a small spark of nervousness piercing the lustful haze in her eyes. I kissed her softly as I knew how, hoping to calm her fears. "Just say the word, love."

She nodded, but didn't say anything as my hand drifted between her legs, parting them just slightly. I stroked her then, barely touching with a single finger. She gasped, hips arching and legs falling apart a bit more. "Yes?" I whispered, copying her earlier words.

She only nodded, unable to form words.

I smiled and pressed a bit deeper, glad to find her wet and wanting me. Encouraged, I began to run my finger up and down, occasionally pressing a bit inside her and watching her face carefully the whole time. Her eyes stared up at mine, but I don't think she really saw me, glazed over as they were. Her lips were parted, occasionally letting out small, high-pitched cries that drove me mad. I wanted her, so badly in that moment, as I have never wanted anything in my life. "Yelena?"

Her eyes focused on mine, piercing me with their green depths. "Yes?"

I swallowed. "Do you… are you sure…that is, do you want…?"

She nodded rapidly before swallowing too. "Yes, Valek. Yes, it's what I want."

Relief washed through me and I moved, placing myself between her legs. I took most of my weight on my forearms, bending as close to her as possible and brushing her lips with mine. Then, slowly, cautiously, I moved forward pressing my tip against her. She gasped and arched beneath me, taking me a bit deeper inside.

Though I wanted nothing more than to be fully inside her, I moved as slowly as possible, weary of how she might react after everything that had happened to her. I needn't have worried. She gripped my back, drawing me closer and spreading her legs wider. I groaned, burying my head in her neck when I was fully inside her. She felt so terribly good and far more right than anything I'd experienced before. I could feel her pants against my neck, her breath cooling the sweat there. Cautiously, I began a rhythm, drawing in and out with as much control as I could manage.

Her breath came faster. "Harder," she whispered, then flushed bright red.

I rose slightly to look her in the face. I lifted one hand to stroke her cheek. "Never, never be embarrassed to tell me what you want, love."

She nodded, meeting my eyes. "Then harder. Faster."

I grinned letting a little control slip away as I pushed into her. She moaned, deep in her chest, and arched her hips to meet me. I concentrated on the rhythm, hoping to distract myself from the growing feeling in my groin. I wanted her to feel just as good as I did. I had heard…

Hesitantly, I reached between us, fingers seeking the small nub a bit higher up.

"Ahh," she moaned. "Yes."

I bent to kiss her gasping lips, then focused on my movements. Her cries were beginning to come more often and louder, eliciting answering groans from me. I could feel a throbbing, coiling in my lower abdomen, tightening by the second. I met her passion-hazed eyes. Her hands reached up to twine in my hair. Her cries had died down and she was panting heavily. Her lashes fluttered and that was the only warning I got before she cried out, arching her back and tightening around me. I groaned, watching in amazement as she rode out her climax in shudders and gasps. I thrust blindly a few more times before the coil inside me burst and I cried out into her hair, spasming inside her.

When my senses cleared, the first thing I felt were her fingers running through my hair. I lifted my head, meeting her eyes briefly before settling back against her chest, sighing.

We were quiet for a time, reveling in the experience, before Yelena spoke. "Is it dark yet, do you think?"

I frowned, drawing back a bit. Why in the world would she want to know that? But the rational part of me kicked in and formed the answer anyway. "Likely not. The soldiers discovered our absence about six hours ago and the guards awakened us just past dawn, so I'd say there's a few hours yet."

She smiled. "Good. I was hoping for at least another go before we had to get back to the real world."

I'm certain I had some sort of foolish grin on my face, but I couldn't have cared less. "Oh, yes. I would say it's nowhere near dark."

She giggled mischievously, rolling me onto my back and straddling me. "Well, then."

* * *

**Whew! So what do you guys think?**

**I'll admit, it was pretty weird writing the sex scene from a male point of view. I think I got it right but any male reviewers can correct me if I didn't.**

**Also, I know a lot of people see Valek as a virgin because of what Dilana says earlier in the book, but that just didn't make a lot of sense to me. He's powerful, attractive, and nearly thirty years old after all. Not to say he gets around or anything, but I assume he's had the experience at least once. Particularly since sex is such a huge part of espionage and he would have to be able to advise his sneaks on that front.**

**Anyway, I hope everyone liked it! This will be the last part since my inspiration kinda ends there and with college picking up I have very little time to write.**

**Thank you all for reading! I really appreciate it.**


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